Deutschland datet sich ab.

Ich surfe durch die Weiten des Webs, höre Menschen zu und beobachte Unbekannte in Cafés und habe dabei mehr Fragen im Kopf als Antworten. Dabei dachte ich mit Anfang 20, dass das mit Mitte 30 genau anders herum sein wird. Ich verstehe unsere Begegnungen nicht, ich verstehe die Kriterien nicht, ich verstehe unseren Umgang mit dem Geschenk der Anziehung nicht. Nicht mehr.

Im Sommer 2013 veröffentlichte „Elite Partner“, nach eigenen Angaben die „Partnerbörse für Akademiker und Singles mit Niveau“ eine Studie, in der Gründe für das Alleinsein unter 4147 Singles erfragt wurden. Dabei gaben 35% an, sehr hohe Ansprüche zu haben und nicht bereit für Kompromisse zu sein. Weitere 31% sagten, sie fokussieren sich lieber auf den Job und die Karriere. Am lustigsten ist aber das hier: 18% der Befragten gaben an, sie würden zu wenig Geld verdienen und könnten dem Partner nicht genug bieten. Elite Partner, die „Partnerbörse für Akademiker und Singles mit Niveau“. Kompromissverweigerer, Egozentriker und Arme.
Echt abgefahren. Ich überlege diesem Blog die folgende Headline zu geben: „Deutschland schafft sich ab“. Oh, Moment.

Wir klicken uns wie Wahnsinnige durch die Datingportale des Internets und treffen unsere Entscheidung auf Basis eines Fotos. Ob es eine Begegnung gibt oder nicht, hängt von einem einzigen Ausschnitt – einer Millisekunde – aus dem Leben des Anderen ab. Daumen hoch oder Daumen runter. Ein Haken für „Ja“, ein Fragezeichen für „Vielleicht“ und ein Kreuz für „Nein“. Wir reduzieren unsere erwachsenen Bedürfnisse und Wünsche auf das kindliche und naive Balzverhalten von grinsenden Achtklässlern auf der Schulbank und merken dabei nicht, dass es unsere eigenen, so vielversprechenden Möglichkeiten sind, die uns an das Kreuz für „Nein“ mit einem rostigen Bolzen festgenagelt haben. Jetzt hängen wir hier und wundern uns auch noch darüber, dass 20 Millionen Singles in der Republik gemeinsam, aber dennoch komplett aneinander vorbei, abhängen.

Und wenn sie nicht gerade wie ein sabbernder Neandertaler, der sein Glück vor lauter Tittenbildchen kaum fassen kann, mit ihrer Keule auf dem Smartphone rumhämmern, laufen sie jeden Tag wie hormongeschwängerte Vampire, mit der Morgenlatte eines 17-jährigen im Anschlag von Date zu Date und schaufeln dabei tonnenweise Schaum von überteuertem Latte Macchiato in sich rein. Danach noch schnell zum Speed Dating um einen Bewerbungsbogen in 7 Minuten auszufüllen (man weiß ja nie wo es hinfällt), während der Dating-Marathon sich beim Blind Dinner dem Ende nähert, in der Hoffnung mit verbundenen Augen eine Prise Mumu oder Kohle zu wittern. Ein riesiges Begräbnis, auf dem wir blind vor zu viel Leben in unseren eigenen Sarg starren, während die Nummer Eins uns in der Pause, zwischen den Disziplinen des Dating-Zehnkampfs, vielleicht an der Käsetheke im Edeka ein Lächeln zugeworfen hat, was wir aber nicht sehen konnten, da die Bewertung von Bildern auf Tinder gerade wichtiger war. Du lieber Darwin.

Da sind wir auch schon bei Datingapps auf dem Smartphone, die zumeist über die Ortungsdienste laufen und in einem vorher definierten Radius – bis zu 150 Kilometern – die verfügbaren Singles als Galerie anzeigen. Badoo, Lovoo, Twine oder Charme, es gibt Dutzende dieser Anwendungen. Die App „Tinder“ verzichtet unter dem Bild des potenziellen Betthupferls gleich auf das komplizierte Fragezeichen. Die Welt ist selbst für ein „Vielleicht“ zu komplex geworden. Es gibt nur ein Kreuz für „Nein“ und ein Herz für „Ja“ und wem selbst das zu anstrengend ist, der kann einfach mit dem Finger über das Foto in die linke Richtung über das Display streichen und das bedeutet „Nein“. Wischt man in die rechte Richtung ist das ein „Ja“. Wir sind komplett irre geworden. Selbst der dümmste Mensch der Welt, in dessen Hirn 24 Stunden am Tag ein trompetender Bonobo seine Kreise dreht, bekommt das hin. Ja oder Nein, schwarz oder weiß, rechts oder links. Wo ist unsere Neugierde hin und der Spaß an einer Begegnung in der Grauzone die sich als Überraschung herausstellt und plötzlich alles anders macht, obschon man das Foto mit hoher Wahrscheinlichkeit gekreuzt hätte? Auf unserer Reise zum großen Ganzen, die wir gerne verwechseln mit der Suche nach Mr. und Mrs. 100%, haben wir uns der eigenen Ganzheitlichkeit entledigt und selbst zu Schnipseln gemacht. Wir sind Bruchstücke, Ausschnitte unserer selbst und lassen nur noch solche an uns ran. Wir sind unfähig für spontanes und überraschendes.

Abgerundet wird online Dating durch die zahlreichen Nischenangebote. Sicherlich, gemeinsame Interessen verbinden, aber mal Hand aufs Herz: wie oft haben wir uns in vollkommen anders tickende Menschen verliebt oder bei Freunden, denen das passiert ist, gedacht, dass das niemals gut gehen wird? Gegensätze ziehen sich immer noch an und erzeugen Reibung und ein gewisses Maß an Reibung ist nicht das Schlechteste für die Aufrechterhaltung von Anziehungskraft und dem Modell von Nähe und Distanz ist. Dennoch gibt es hunderte Seiten mit den abstrusesten Grundlagen für ein Date. Hier ein kleiner Auszug:

– Veggiecommunity.org für Fleischlose oder Gleichklang.de für „naturnahe und tierliebe Singles.“
– SingleMama.de oder PatchworkGlueck.de, für alle die schon geworfen haben oder sich gerne ins gemachte Nest setzen.
– Mollipartner.de oder Rubensfan.de – für Dicke und deren Bewunderer.
– Behinderte-Dating.com für Menschen mit Handicap oder Hautkontakt.de, für alle Menschen mit Hautproblemen – ursprünglich gegründet für Menschen mit Schuppenflechte. Kein Witz.
– Christ-sucht-Christ.de oder Muslima.com – aus offensichtlichen Gründen.
– Romantik50Plus.de oder Oldiepartner.de – die Ü-50 Party im Netz.
– GrosseLeute.de oder KleineSingles.de – damit alles seine Ordnung hat. Wir sind hier immer noch in Deutschland.
– Metalflirt.de oder Gothicsingles.de – damit es auch ja nicht zu bunt wird.
– landflirt.de oder flirt.landwirt.com – die virtuelle Ausgabe von Bauer sucht Frau.
– Cougarlife.com oder Zuckerjungs.de – für reife Damen die einen Toyboy ranlassen wollen.
– MySugarDaddy.eu oder ZuckerDaddys.de – für reife Männer die ihr Geld gerne in junges Gemüse investieren.

Das Spiel zwischen Mann und Frau, welches ich so unglaublich gerne spiele, ist zu einem Malen nach Zahlen degradiert. Aber Liebe ist kein Malen nach Zahlen. Liebe ist Kunst und echte Künstler zeichnen verdammt noch mal frei Hand. Aber auf mich hört ja keiner.

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